How to actually start & KEEP a new years resolution.

Well, well well, if it isn’t our old nemesis… the New Years’ Resolution. Most people start strong in their goals but little keep it going. Well, lets change that.

The first part is to figure out what you actually want. Here’s an easier way to do it.

Step 1: Figure out a realistic goal

I want you to imagine that it is December 31st, 2023. You’re thinking back on the entire year. What would you want to be a happy memory? Create a list of those memories you want to be happy about.

The reason to do this is you can create more Realistic goals. And that is the purpose. You NEED realistic goals to actually keep them. Thats the big important first step. Without a realistic goal, you will find it impossible to keep. Finally, turn those happy memories you envisioned into brief goals.

For example… Memory - I’m happy that I got a new job. Goal - Get a new job. | Memory - I’m happy that I lost weight. Goal - Lose X amount of pounds.

COMMON MISTAKE WARNING!

Sometimes, people will do this activity and be too vague. Such as “Be happy”. Great goal, but hard to actually define. Being happy means many things to many people. Try to think of more specifics.

Step 2: Break those goals down

Turn those goals into monthly goals. Some of the goals that you have set for yourself may not turn into monthly goals, but most will. After breaking the goals into monthly goals. Break the down into WEEKLY goals. You NEED to do this step. This is where most people start to go wrong in setting goals.

There are a few reasons for this. When you set a large, yearly goal for yourself. It can seem like you have all the time in the world to achieve it. Wrong. You need to start now. You can easily fall into a mental trap where you lose consistency because of it being a large goal. “I have a lot of work to do this month, I can take it easy and catch up next month…” Additionally, you can lose motivation easily without consistent goals to check off. By checking off goals each week, you feel more accomplished consistently. And it is always improving upon the previous week.

Here are a few examples.

Overall Goal - I want to lose 25 pounds. Monthly Goal - I will lose about 2.1 lbs. Weekly Goal - I will lose .5lbs.

Overall Goal - I want to get a new job. Monthly Goal - I will apply to 20 Jobs. Weekly Goal - I will apply to 5 jobs.

After you break the goals down into weekly goals, the most important step comes in.

Step 3: Ask yourself this question

This question is going to keep you focused on your goals and get you through until you complete it.

“What can I do today to achieve my goal?”

That simple question is essential to following through. Each day you should be working towards your goals, if possible. Even if it is minor things. Touching up your resume. Learning a new skill. Going for a walk/jog. Improving your mental health. It may seem like a lot but it isn’t. Daily steps towards your goal should not be excessive. Keep them simple. Keep them achievable. but most importantly, KEEP DOING THEM. A 10-minute walk is better than sitting for 10 minutes. And you can check off that you did something towards your goal today.

Once you complete that daily quest. Relax. Don’t stress about your goal anymore because you already completed today’s goal of moving closer to your overall goal. Finally, the last part comes in

Step 4: Reward Yourself

This is an essential part AND a part people frequently mess up for one reason. People go too extreme with their rewards. People will either not reward themselves or reward themselves too excessively. Here’s an example: Someone wants to lose weight. So, they go deeply into eating salads only for 3 weeks. They burn themselves out quickly with excessive change. When they reward themselves with a “cheat day”, they binge on their old foods.

Keep the rewards simple. They don’t need to cost money. They can be as simple as taking a nap. Patting yourself on the back. Getting coffee. Even if it was an event you were going to do already such as hanging out with friends on Friday. Dedicate that hangout to yourself as a reward for completing some goals. It may sound weird but it is a mental trick to keep you moving forward. P.s… you don’t need to reward yourself daily. Do it randomly. Once a week. Once every 7 check marks this time, 10 check marks next time. etc.

People are essentially just big kids. You reward (reinforce) a kid’s behavior when they do something well. Such as potty training, walking for the first time, reading, good grades, etc. Adults respond the same way to rewards as kids do. We just have a tendency to convince ourselves that the reward is not deserved or not extreme enough. Think of that last time a random person gave you a compliment and didn’t want anything from you afterward.

TL;DR: Set a realistic goal. Break that goal down into monthly goals. Then weekly goals. Then daily goals. Reward yourself for completing goals.

If you are setting a goal of improving your mental health, we can help! Contact us today.